


Brushes with Love and Death

by Okami01



Series: Ashelix 2020 Week [5]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Ashelix Week (Fire Emblem), Canon-Typical Violence, Crushes, Drama, Fantasizing, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining, Requited Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27141229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okami01/pseuds/Okami01
Summary: Ashe gets injured on the battlefield and Felix doesn't know how to deal with itFor Ashelix Week! Day 4 - Scars, battle
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Series: Ashelix 2020 Week [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975840
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15
Collections: Ashelix Week 2020





	Brushes with Love and Death

In battle, people were injured all the time. In battle, when your comrades in arms were wounded or even killed, you sometimes couldn't help them. 

In battle, Felix watched Ashe fell an enemy with an arrow. He's happy, in the way that it could have been Ashe who died but thankfully wasn't. 

Felix was fighting someone himself, his sword clashing against an axe, when he saw an Adrestian soldier stab Ashe with a lance. 

Felix prides himself on his control during a fight. Emotions didn't help you on a battlefield. Acting rash can endanger your life and your comrades. 

Ashe is fine. And he's far away. And the axe-wielding bastard that he's fighting isn't letting up. 

Felix twists, trying to disarm him. Stab him wherever he can. He wants to get to Ashe but the battlefield has other plans. 

He strikes, hits bone, hears something snap, the man wails. But Felix is barely paying attention now. 

He allows himself a glance at Ashe again. Annette appeared somewhere with her axe and her faith magic thank the gods. Felix isn't even prone to believing in the gods. Praising them or praying to them. Hypocritical as it is, he'd pray to anyone for this fight to be over. 

__  
It ends. Felix's muscles ache. His heart pounds. And he isn't even sure if it's the post-battle stress. Runs towards the wounded tent. It was a nasty cut. Annette might have healed Ashe but faith magic doesn't always save you. 

Felix is angry. At himself, at Ashe, at the Adrestian soldier who stabbed As he. At the entirety of Adrestia. 

He wants to be mad. Ashe is reckless. Always trying to help people. Protect them. Caught up in idealism and knighthood and fairy stories that are not even close to reality. 

But when he pulls the wounded tent flap open, sees Ashe in a corner dressing his wounds, he's more relieved than anything else. 

He feels a sick feeling too. It could have been worse. Felix could have died. Then he wouldn't feel anything at all. In death. So it was better not to feel anything now. So that nothing bad happens. So that if anything bad happens it won't hurt. 

If only that could be the case.

Ashe could have died. It would be heartbreaking, reality of war or not, it makes him sick. Ashe wouldn't deserve that. Maybe he'd be happy, as far as deaths go, dying on a battlefield like the foolish knights in the ridiculous stories that sometimes ring true when they're about people dying for causes that they shouldn't.  
Felix would hate that.

He's hardly prone to imagining Ashe dying anywhere but he wouldn't want it to be somewhere gruesome. In anguish. 

Felix would rather he be at peace. Happy, in life and in death.

He'd rather be visiting him in the training grounds, the mess hall, or any place that wasn't the infirmary. 

Mercedes, other healers, and a bunch of soldiers looked up at him when he came in. Felix suddenly feels very out of place. But it's too late to be deterred. 

He keeps walking in, towards Ashe. 

" Oh um hello Felix, did you need something?"

Most of the things Felix wanted to say, the harsh words and the soft sappy things that he thinks in the far corners of his mind disappear. 

" Why were you there? So close to the main battle?" And Felix knows very well that they don't always have the luxury to choose where they fight anymore. They're fighting for their lives. If Ashe was pushed out into the open, it must've been for a reason. If only Felix could have thought about that instead of immediately running towards the infirmary. 

" Um well-"

" You know," Felix interrupts. " I can't-" bear to lose you. "-always look after you on the battlefield." Like this time where thankfully Annette had been there. Next time, who knows.

" You're an archer, so shoot from a distance."

Ashe sighs. Looking dejected. " I'm sorry," and it makes Felix frown. 

" Don't be. Just… Do better next time. I wouldn't want you to die."

He cringes at himself for saying that last part aloud. It's true but, how extremely awkward. He's not hurt that badly. Though Felix doesn't want Ashe injured at all. Really he'd rather see him smiling, reading his books and petting cats, sparring occasionally, teaching him how to better use a sword. Away from the wretched war. 

Ashe smiles as if Felix actually said something endearing. " Thank you, Felix. I… wouldn't want you to die either."

____

Of course, Ashe wouldn't want to die. He doesn't want to get injured. But somehow, he feels better seeing Felix's face. Well, he knows why actually. Ashe has a crush on Felix. And it's usually Easter to deal with when Felix isn't squatting down next to him. Speaking to him in upset tones and repeating his strict mantra about not wanting to look after his friends on the battlefield. 

Ashe is sorry. The wound barely hurts. Annette had used healing magic and insisted that he go to the medical tent. But there were others more injured than he, so he wrapped his own wound. 

Felix came bursting through the tent as if something far more awful had happened. Ashe could hear the other soldiers whispering. What was Fraldarius doing here? 

Felix Frqaldarius with his slightly disheveled hair and muddy boots. His torn clothes and sword relic dangling from his hip, hitting up against his thigh highs. 

Ashe had been in pain before. Now he was just happy to see Felix. Despite the circumstances. He was upset and that upset Ashe. And he'd only sought him out because he was injured, but still. 

There's a second where Ashe imagines Felix running towards him and kissing him. The aftermath of the battle making him act on impulse.

" Don't get stabbed just so I'll kiss you," daydream Felix says. Pulling Ashe close and kissing him 

" I would never," Ashe pants. Outloud, much to his dismay. 

Ashe shoves the thought into the back of his mind, forever. Or at least not now. But he's already blushing. 

" What?" real-life Felix asks. 

And Ashe stumbles over his words so often he wishes Felix would cut him off again.  
" I will do better next time," Ashe swears. 

Felix looks at him. He's blushing too. Probably just angry. 

" You're arm," Felix says, breaking eye contact. " That's where it happened." Part question, part statement. 

Ashe nods. " You were watching?"

" Couldn't get to you in time." Then more loudly, "Does it hurt?"

" No, it's fine. It really could have been worse. "

" It's not fine."

" Oh um-"

Felix's eyes dart to the bandage. He places his hand just below the wound. It's warm. Callused.  
Ashe forgets to breathe. 

Ashe is afraid to say anything, less really is having a dream. He wouldn't want to wake up. He's not really fearful, even though it is reality and Felix is known for his brusqueness, Ashe never feels scared around him. Their enemies probably do. They should, anyway. 

Felix stays like that for a while. Neither of them says anything. And Ashe is sure he's not using any healing magic. He feels fuzzy, happy in a weird way. He wasn't cut deep enough to be dizzy from blood loss.  
Ashe is sure that he's blushing profusely now. 

Suddenly, Felix moves his arm down gently, towards Ashe's hand. Ashe wonders if he's going to hold his hand. He'd like that.

Ashe knows that under Felix's coat, he's had his own cuts and brusies and scars. That bothers Ashe. Not that he's imagining what Felix looks like under his coat. Or not now at least. But because he's upset when Felix is injured. He hates to be fussed over. Sometimes, Ashe wishes he could comfort Felix like he's unintentionally doing now. 

Felix startles, as if he's suddenly aware of what he's doing and at this point, Ashe fully expects him to pull away. He pushes his fingers into Ashe's instead. Looks him in the eye.

Ashe may very well be hallucinating from lack of blood loss in a field somewhere. 

" I want you... to be safe, Ashe. War is bloody, unpredictable. There isn't any shame in running away, keeping a distance. As long as you keep your focus."

It's a little hard to do that right now. Ashe nods. 

" And maybe later… we could spar together?"

Ashe forces himself to remember how speech works. " Y-yes, I'd like that."

" Good." Felix smiles. Still close to Ashe. He forgets how speech works again. 

Which is probably ok because Felix is detangling his fingers from Ashe's and standing up, turning around to leave as if nothing happened. 

" If you're again injured, get your wounds treated immediately."

" Oh, ok. Thanks, Felix."

Maybe nothing did happen. Ashe considers the, being passed out and having a nice dream theory again, before the whisper yell gossip from the other soldiers starts up again. 

Fraldarius must really like him. That's the nicest he is to like anyone. 

Ashe is fairly certain that's not true, but it's nice to think about it.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Ashelix Week! Thanks for reading! RIP those random injured soldiers that were just sitting there when the Ashelix pining occurred.
> 
> @Tavitay on Twitter!


End file.
